The best toys

The best toys in life are free

And that includes both the birds and bees…

Well, maybe not the bees. Birds, sure, most excellent and tasty toys. But bees, not so much. Mum would never want me to play with bees.

For a start a bee sting can be very dangerous on a small kitty like me.

For another thing, Mum likes honey. And fruit. And flowers. Lots of things bees are useful for. They don’t call them busy for nothing!

Also, they probably don’t taste nearly as nice as birdies!

Anyway, I was actually going to post about toys, when I got distracted by that silly human song.

Mum tells me that some cat toys they sell in shops are really expensive. I’m sure they are good toys. After all, cats can play with just about anything.

Which is why the best ones are free!

Humans tend to ration the expensive ones. They worry about treading on them with their big clumsy feet and breaking them.

They worry about them getting lost under the furniture.

They probably don’t even want them to get all chewed up! What’s the point of a cat toy you’re not allowed to chew up? Chewing is the best bit. And clawing. And chasing.

OK, they’re all the best bit!

But none of that is any good if your human takes the toy away from you and puts it in a drawer. Even if you can open the drawer…

They tend to figure that out and put it somewhere you need opposable thumbs to get into or something!

So free toys are much better.

Like string!!!

Did I mention I love string?

Except that it’s only fun with a human making it run. And they don’t always want to play. Mew mew.

Another great one is shiny balls of foil.

Humans like to wrap little bits of shiny foil round their treats. Especially at this time of year. My Mum squidges them up into balls and throws them for me to chase.

It’s brilliant!

They go really fast if they are nice and round. About the size of a couple of toes seems the best. And best of all they are fun to play with by yourself. Once the human has thrown it, that’s all they need to do.

Apart from noticing when it has got lost and throwing another one.

But that’s hardly a chore is it?

Of course they get lost under the sofa. But that doesn’t matter.

It also doesn’t matter if a human treads on them. It doesn’t hurt their feet, even in socks. Have you noticed how wimpy humans are about their feet without shoes on?

Also it doesn’t matter if the ball gets squished.

And it doesn’t make the carpet dirty. Unless they forgot to take the treat out, but I don’t think that’s very likely, do you?

So here’s my hint to humans this Christmas. Don’t waste money buying fancy toys for your cat. Get a big box of choccies, the kind with shiny foil, and you can both enjoy it!

Oh yes, and a ball of string…

Mrrrrp!

What are you giving your cat this year? Cats, what do you most want from Santacat?

I want string… and for my Mum to spend three hours a day playing with it with me! And some nicer food. And shiny foil to chase. And mices.

Did I say string? Don’t forget the string…